I read this description of an author's seminary professor named James Muilenburg. The picture took on life in my own experience as I thought of the doubts, the fears, the questions that I have finally allowed myself to acknowledge in the last few years.
Then I thought of the other 'garments' that I wear. I thought of the shining, white, perfect gown that I have carelessly put on trying to cover who I really am. I am not referring to the gown of righteousness that I believe God would want for us. I am talking about pretending that I am better than the next person, comparing my goodness with another's and believing that I have it together, well, wanting to have it together. I don't really like this garment that I create for myself.
But in my mind I see another covering. It is not really that beautiful to look at, the colors are not vibrant or especially attractive yet it feels like the softest wool that has no itch! But I see myself wrapped totally in it, warm, safe, comfortable. At this stage of my life, at this time of my life I seem to be able to spend a little more time here, resting, relaxing and enjoying God's love.
Yes, there are days of coldness, wearing a torn garment. I don't feel the need to cover that with a fake 'whiteness' as much as I used to. But the sense of being loved and actually enjoying that love makes me wish to spend more time there.
disclaimer: don't take my metaphor too seriously or try to make it cover too many areas! I know it is not fool proof or very sound theologically! But it has been a real encouragement to me in this leg of the Journey.