It began as any other day. I don't get in much of a hurry in the morning, taking time to enjoy my coffee and watch the rising sun. Tending to be a procrastinator, I continued to meander through the morning until the clock reminded me that I had a lunch date, a 45 minute drive from home. So of course I did my usual scramble and thankfully remembered the birthday gift that I was taking.
By the time I came home in the afternoon I was doing the mental list of all the things that should be done, most of them not pressing but just a bunch of stuff that I thought was needing attention. Then the John Deere Salesman called and asked me to go with him to move equipment. Hhhmmm, what about my list? I went and enjoyed the beautiful afternoon. Next his question was , "would I go for a quick fly to see how harvest was going?". Of course I would go but that was when the guilt started kicking in. The 'list' became longer and more pressing in my mind. I told myself I had done nothing all day. I am lazy. I don't accomplish anything.
All of a sudden the thought came to me: instead of thinking about all the things I didn't get done why not think about what I did do. Yes, most of what had happened wouldn't be measured in cleaning, cooking, sewing etc. but there was good time with people I care about.
It was not a huge revelation but it has helped me to deal with the inadequate feelings that plague me, feelings that I don't 'do' enough. Somehow thinking of what I did get done instead of what didn't get done brought a freedom that I had lost that day.
I think of my friends with full/part time jobs as well as families, friends with little people at their feet, in their arms all day long. There is a saying "a women's work is never done" and yes, I suppose that is true. But today, instead of thinking of what did not get done, think of all the things that did get done whether it be reading the same book to your toddler, rocking a sad baby half the day, making pancakes for supper instead of some complicated casserole.
Sometimes we set the bar waaay to high and need to be kinder to ourselves.
Now I think I will just go to my very messy laundry/sewing room and dream about another quilt project or maybe sew a seam or two..........